I hope we can differentiate between “cyber” as it is popularly used to refer to “cybersex” and the very real – although virtual – D/s relationships that people have online.

It’s certainly true that the flesh-to-flesh (or even eye-to-eye) contact that comes with real life can’t be duplicated online, in email or on the phone. But people can and do have good D/s interactions that are as emotionally and physically involving as some of those available in real life. Having experienced both, I’d rather have a good connection online than a bad one in real life!

Availability is another factor. For a variety of reasons, some people just can’t act on the D/s parts of their characters. Is it fair to deny them other outlets, when such outlets do exist? As for safety, I feel no more secure being alone with someone I’ve met at a bar, at work or at church than I do with a stranger I’ve talked with online for 6 months. Common sense is called for any time, and within the D/s community there are fortunately some well-established safety measures that everyone should use.

Virtual relationships have power all of their own. They don’t have to turn into real life to be successful. Anything that brings people together to explore, experience and learn in a safe and accepting environment can’t be bad. Let’s celebrate the diversity of our options, and wish everyone joy in their choices – whatever those choices may be.